Order in the Dojo 2?
by Master of Time and Space
Summary: Original by NachoManLance. Took forever but here's Chapter 2! Another dead witness. More crazy stuff that wouldn't happen in a normal court room. Misao is still a grope-aholic. Is rated higher than necessary, just to be safe. R & R.
1. Day 1 Start of the trial & dead people

Order in the dojo… 2? 

Written by _Master of Time and Space_; Concept by _NachoManLance_

After the first trial, which was a fairly big success, our pal Lance began work on a new trial. Unfortunately, he was asked to assist with another and so left it to me to write and complete. This one's for you Lance!!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Rk or any of its copywrite crap; I don't even own the PLOT!!!!

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Another day was in the making for Tokyo. At that, a very intense one. No, more like a really big word that should be used but can't be remembered. The focus of it all was in the Kamiya Dojo. At this time, the beginnings of the trial of the century – second of the century; maybe greatest – were unfolding. 

Whispers were travelling through the crowd at break-neck speed. Our red-haired friend, Kenshin Himura, was trying to calmly chat with his defense attorney, Sano. At the other table sat Aoshi, trying to calmly ignore his attorney, Misao.  For the moment, the bailiff was standing against the wall opposite the jury box. It seemed strange that the jury consisted of Soujiro and the Oniwaban group, save for Aoshi and Misao, due to the fact that four of them were supposedly dead. Then the judge arrived.

"Hm? Oh; Everyone please rise for the honorable *- whispering- and ugly * Judge Kaoru Kamiya." Yahiko said loudly to the court room.

Entered Kaoru, wearing a blue robe and her hair falling loose behind her. With Yahiko as bailiff and Kaoru as judge, it would certainly be an interesting trial. Once she took her seat, everyone else took their seats. Yahiko, on the other hand, could not as they still had not provided him with a chair; bailiffs weren't supposed be sitting on the job anyways.

Settled, Kaoru called "Order! The trial of Aoshi Shinomori versus Kenshin Himura is now in session!"

Everyone instantly clammed up, knowing better than to speak when Kaoru wanted quiet. It was quiet and listen, or face her bokken.

"Will the prosecution please present their opening argument."

With that, Misao rose to give the opening statement. She noted that all her friends from the Oniwaban group were there, as well as Soujiro, that freaky, always smiling kid. She gave a minor shiver at that smile.

"Your Honor, fellow people of Tokyo and others included, my client has been an honorable opponent to the defendant. However, Mr. Himura has not done like wise towards Aoshi-sama – I mean, Mr. Shinomori. My client does hereby charge the defendant with unswordsman-like conduct and mental distress."

"What do you currently seek as punishment should the defendant be found guilty?" 

Quietly, Misao confered with Aoshi and approached again.

"We believe that Mr. Himura should be forced to acknowledge that my client is the superior one and should also sent back to his former master's residence for training in the conduct of a swordsman."

"Is that all, counselor?"

"Yes, your honor."

"Will the defense please give their opening statement to the court." Kaoru asked once Misao was seated again. Now it was Sano's turn to speak. Hopefully, Kaoru thought, Sano wouldn't do anything too stupid. She slammed the gavel.

"Hey, Ugly! You didn't need to do that!" Yahiko hissed to her.

That's when the flying bokken came down and struck him. 

"HEY! WHY'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!" 

"I didn't do anything; *glowering to the jury* did I?" 

No one said otherwise. 

"Good; Sano? If you will."

Sano rose, giving Kenshin thumbs up as he walked to the bench. Kenshin, however confident in Sano he might be, was seriously beginning to regret having him for his attorney. Straightening his suit and tie, he made his statement.

"THAT MAN IS A FILTHY LIAR!!!"  *points to Aoshi*

Kenshin oro-ed aloud; he was doomed, no questions asked.

"SANO! "

"Sorry, your honor; just making my point." Smirking, Sano continued. "Ladies and gentlemen of the court; what Mr. Icicle Shinomori claims is completely groundless. To say that Kenshin is a filthy cheater and unfairly attacks his opponents is a filthy lie itself. I myself have dueled with him, and not once have I been cheated or attacked in an unswordsman like manner. I ask our wonderful jury that they find my defendant not guilty and that the Ice sculpture be sentenced to the punishment he asks for my client. Thank you." 

As Sano sat down again, some of the jurors came alive with embarassment and blushing at the complements. Of course, Kaoru and the others saw through his words and saw the same ploy as with the previous trial.

"Will the prosecution call their first witness to the stand?" Judge Kaoru asked, straightening herself after Sano's needlessly long a opening.

Rising, Misao spoke, "We call Houji what's his face to the stand."

Everyone turned to the peculiar group that sat on Aoshi's side of the court room. There sat a mummy, a human stick figure with wings, a lady with a scythe(so they thought), a giant, a really short big head dude, a women wearing green lip stick, and the man in a weird looking suit and coat, looking as though he'd had too many cups of coffee today.

Striding to the front he stood in the box and placed his hand on the bokken Yahiko was holding.

"Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole and nothing but the truth so help you busu-OWW!" he was cut off as the bokken was used to hit his head.

"I mean – so help you Kaoru?" 

"I do."

Yahiko returned to his post as Houji took his seat, still rubbing his sore head.

"Mr. Houji; is it true you know my client, as well as the defendant?" Misao asked.

"It is true, yes I know the Battousai and Shinomori." He replied. Kenshin visibly shuddered at the mention of his other name.

Walking to Houji, Misao spoke again. "When Makoto Shishio was in the duel with Mr. Himura, did you notice anything that seemed unswordsman like coming from the defendant?"

"OBJECTION, Jou-chan; the guy has never held a sword nor trained in swordmanship, so anything he saw could be interpreted as unfair." Sano yelled out, somewhat surprising Kaoru that he had caught that.

"Misao; please try again."

"Sorry; Houji – would you say that Himura is an honorable opponent?"

"I would."

"Would you care to explain the fight that occurred between him and Makoto Shishio?"

Of course, Houji did and tell he did! It took him a whole hour to explain the fight down to every last detail. When it was over, the entire jury box was asleep and half the court room as well. Kaoru was snoring from her bench. 

"Your honor?!" Misao yelled loudly.

"WHAT'D I MISS?!" Kaoru screamed as she smacked the gavel, bring the entire room out of it's slumber.

"I have no further questions for this witness." She quietly returned to her seat.

"Defense?" Kaoru asked.

Groggily, Sano rose and walked to the bench. 

"Houji, are you loyal to Makoto Shishio?"

"OF COURSE!!! HE IS THE SAVIOR FOR ALL OF JAPAN-"

"Cool it! If my client were to duel with your master, which he has, would you side with Shishio?"

"Most certainly! I would do anything and say anything for the good of his name!!!"

Smirking inwardly, Sano pressed on. "In that case, isn't it possible that your perception of what occurred between my client and Shishio could be somewhat distorted?"

"Well, I am very loyal to Lord Shishio, so yeah; it's possible-"

"No further questions. I think he's said all the court needs to hear." Sano then strolled back to his seat, with a  big smirk plastered on his face. Misao was inwardly kicking his self for thinking that Houji was a worthy, if at all sane witness. Aoshi sat inmpassively. Then for some reason, he felt someone grabbing him. Without looking he realized it was Misao- MISAO?! What was she doing? No one seemed to notice what she was doing, and – was that a smile on her face?! Okay, must think of something that will make me forget that she's - right! Uh, oh yeah; green fields –yes,  a lush, green field full of dandelions and butterflies. 

Meanwhile, Houji was screaming that he must tell what happened between Kenshin and Shishio, Kaoru was yelling at the bailiff to subdue the witness and remove him, and Yahiko was yelling back at her, saying how ugly she was and the usual stuff he says. In the, Kaoru yelled at the top of her lungs, her head getting really big and making the dojo shake, for them to all shut up. Everyone shut up. Kenshin went so far as to hide under the table and Sano was hanging from a light fixture attached to the ceiling.

"I think we should call it a day and reconvene tomorrow at 10 am. Court dis-" before Judge Kaoru could finish, an enormous pile of bokkens fell from somewhere above, burying her completely. Everyone, again, shut up. Then there was laughter. From Sano.

"That wasn't me; really. But it was funny!" Soon the whole court room erupted. Kenshin and Aoshi were anything but laughing. Aoshi was silent; Misao was still groping him, and Kenshin was oro-ing. 

Kaoru eventually dug herself out and was fuming. Yahiko was attempting to inject some stuff to calm him down after the day's events, but Kaoru took it and used it herself.

"YOUR MOM GIVES LOUSY HEAD!" And then she was out on the floor, even though it wasn't really supposed to do that.

"ORO! Miss Kaoru isn't going to be happy when she wakes up, that she won't." Kenshin mumbled to Sano.

"Relax, Kenshin! If this keeps up, you'll be free and innocent in no time. Now, lets go and get something to eat; I'm buying." Sano replied to him with a smile.

"But, you never pay, that you don't."

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Well, the first day was pretty interesting, ne? I hope you liked it NachoManLance! Don't forget that reviews are necessary to the survival and health of this story; they certainly are to me! Don't think it's long enough? Well, I thought it was. Have a complaint? Go ahead and tell so it doesn't happen again. How else will I know?

Stay tuned next time when: Sano reverts to his old habits; More dead people as witnesses and jurors;  and more of Misao groping Aoshi and him ignoring it!!! Well, maybe…


	2. Day 2 TicTacToe and Secret Plots

Order in the Dojo 2

Still written by MoTaS; still created by NachoManLance

Well; last chapter was… interesting. Who knew I could write something like that? Anyways, this time around – the second day begins; Sano, while being very professional the previous day is about to revert back to some of his old habits; several witnesses and jurors are still dead; and Aoshi must suffer (or enjoy?) Misao's groping him

Remember that I never owned the plot or the characters. 

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It was now day two in the making of a very strange trial at the Kamiya Dojo. The Judge had been buried in bokkens, had injected herself with Kami-knows-what, the witness and four jurors were dead, the prosecutions counsel was groping her client, and the defense attorney was… well, weird.

Everyone was chatting somewhat quietly (emphasis on somewhat) before the judge would enter. Aoshi was just sitting there quietly; Misao was groping him again. Kenshin was debating with his Battousai-self whether he should remove Sano from his conscious state, hoof it to Hokaido, and abandon him with Saitou or not. Sano, not knowing the mental battle Kenshin was in, was outlining their defense strategy for the day on a pad of paper; it was really just a bunch of tic-tac-toe games, with him losing everytime. Yahiko was silently chating it up with Soujiro, as they were the only truly sane people in the entire dojo (they liked to think.) Then Kaoru appeared.

"Alright, everyone rise for the honorable – *whispering* and drug-addict *not whispering* – Karou Kamiya," Yahiko called to everybody in the court room. Kaoru took her place on the bench and the rest returned to their seats. 

"Okay, lets get started," Karou said, sounding a little tired. "Prosecution, I trust you are ready to begin?"

Rising, Misao spoke, "yes your Judge-ship. The prosectution calls Makoto Shishio ot the stand."

Instantly, everyone looked to the same rag-tag group from which Houji-the-Ranter had come yesterday. This time, the mummy-dude rose, looking very creepy and very dead-like. Once on the stand, he gave everyone an evilish glare, causing everyone to shut up. He was particularily scowling at Kenshin, Sano, and Aoshi. Yahiko seemed very reluctant to approach him. But with urging, he finally did.

"D-do you swear to tell the w-whole t-truth and nothing but the truth so help you K-kaoru?" he stuttered out.

"Yes, you little worm; I do." Shishio grinned his ever evil grin; 10 seconds later, Yahiko to pass out right there in front of the bench. Kaoru looked down at her bailiff/apprentice/boarder; he was twitching slightly. Sanpping her fingers, a janitor came in and attempted to sweep the passed-out-child away. The janitor passed out, and he hadn't even looked at Shishio. Curiously, Kaoru sniffed the air; there was a retched smell. All eyes fell on the witness. He simply grinned. 

"EVERYONE; GAS MASKS ON!" Kaoru yelled. Everyone soon had their masks on. It now seemed that Shishio had a problem with nasty flatulants. 

With his gas mask on, Saitou stepped in. Of course, Kenshin did not like this; Sano didn't like it anymore than Kenshin or Kaoru, but someone had to fill in for the brat til he awoke again.

Through the muffle of the masks, the trial went on.

"Mr. Shishio, is it true that you and the defendant have dueled in the past?" Misao asked.

"It is true that the Battousai and I have deuled."

"Would you say he is a worthy, at that an honorable opponent?"

"I would say that although he claims to have beaten me, he did so in an underhanded way, so he is worthy but not honorable."

"Would you care to elaborate?"

"During our fight, he taunted me! He continually reminded me of the burns I received from the government! He even used my lady as a human shield!!!"

"Does the prosecution have anymore questions at this time?" Kaoru asked, clearly disgusted at Shishio's attempted lies. 

"No your honor."

"Defense?"

Oh dear, Kenshin thought; now Sano gets a turn. I hope doesn't do anything really stupid. ORO – it would really suck if he did. Hmm… I could still dump him in Hokaido… That's always an option. 

Sano rose, but dared not go more than halfway between the bench and his seat. Who could blame him.

"You sir, are as much a filthy liar as Popcicle here!" Sano said, loudly so the court could here him.

Shit! Kenshin thought to himself. I really should consider my earlier plan; of course, I'd have to remove Saitou as well, but that isn't a real problem is it? No… he's getting soft and then I can abondon them in Hokaido – maybe even that one place; I think it was called Siberia?

Kaoru glared at Sano as if to say _Don't even THINK that will work again, Sano; although I do agree with you…_ Sano decided to try again or have his head removed – permanently.

"Why, Mr. Shishio, did the government choose to burn you?" Sano asked.

"Your honor! I object to the question as it is irrelevant!" Misao yelled, beginning to sense that this going to end badly for Shishio… or maybe she was just nauseous from that reak that Shishio had unleashed… hmm, no ones looking my way; hehehe…

"Just giving the people the background on the witness; it's done all the time." Sano shot back.

"Answer the question."

"Once the revolution had ended, I couldn't seem to stop killing, the Meiji government decided that burning me alive was the best viable option." Shishio simply answered.

"So, you became a killing machine, went on a spree, started an organization of fanatical followers and then attempted to knock off my client as well as the entire Meiji government, in hopes of controlling the country yourself? I'm I correct in saying all that?"

"Yes – except for one thing."

"And that would be…"

"I was going to turn the country over to Shinomori when I was done; it was his plan after all." 

At that comment, the sounds of an attorney face-planting was heard in the court room. 

"I guess that's it, judge."

"Shishio, you may leave the stand – better yet, go home… and never step foot outside again. Ever,"  Kaoru said, wishing that he would just leave and then they could just breathe again.

Shishio simply rose and walked out the door next to the jury box. He gave Soujiro a thumbs up and started to leave, when he paused for a second. Once he left the room, the entire jury box caught on fire and the jurors began running around the court room. 

"Ok… court is dismissed until tomorrow when the jury box can be replaced. " she stopped just short of striking the gavel, remembering what had happened yesterday. She careful tapped it. Nothing happened, so she stood to leave. Then the entire bench exploded in a cloud of dust and Kaoru was covered in a colorful array of colors.

"Hey Kaoru! SKITTLES – TASTE THE RAINBOW!!! Can you taste it?" Sano called out, laughing. It was evidently clear that he wasn't the one, as an investigation later discovered. However, Kaoru wasn't one to wait and had immediately taken up pursuit of Sano with her mystical bokken.

_Sano, you idiot_, Kenshin thought. _Why can't you ever just be quiet? Oh, because you're a simple-minded person who doesn't know that his antics will eventually get him killed. I guess I should try and stop Kaoru, that I should. If I don't, then I can't implement "Operation: Frozen-Sanosuke."_

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Hope you guys did enjoy the chapter, cuz I did. Although, reading is more fun than writing it. Whatever. Remember that you should review it as well. Make suggestions if you think there's something better that could happen. Until next time, adios!


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